We Are Safe from Possums

Parker, the dog that the Animal Protection League didn't think we should have (or any other dog), works very hard at keeping us safe. He's an extremely submissive and cowardly dog, but he loves us enough to defend us from squirrels and possums.

He also barks at friends who come to visit. But he would never, ever get near one without our permission. And coaxing.

Last night while I was blissfully sleeping I was unaware that our lives were being threatened by a possum. I'm not sure what dastardly plan this possum had in mind -- I think he was after the dog food, which Parker won't eat because, well, Parker was a stray and only likes people and cat food. Dog food is his last resort. Anyway, for whatever reason, there was a possum in the bushes. Lurking. Waiting to kill us all while we slept.

At least that's what Parker told me when I came out at 1:30 to see if I could get him to Shut Up Before I Have To Speak Harshly to You and threaten never to give you leftovers again. Parker was so excited to see me, to demonstrate in person his total effectiveness in defending our household from a possum.

Of course, I didn't know if it was a possum, snake, terrorist, raccoon or rabid fox. I didn't know if it was anything at all. Maybe Parker imagined a burglar. He kept barking. The horses came up to the fence. They started snorting, which gave me confirmation that Parker was not Making This Up. The horses knew there was an intruder. The question was, what kind?

So I went back to bed. He kept barking, so I came back out again. This time I could hear a rustle in the bushes so I knew where to look. By this time Buddy and Lucy decided that 2:00 a.m. was a fine time to start whinnying for breakfast, so they are making a ruckus snorting at the bushes and whinnying at me, and Parker can't stop barking. Tiger the cat shows up. Tiger always shows up. He isn't alarmed or even interested. He just wonders if maybe there is food involved, since the horses seem to think so.

With my flashlight I spot the Evildoer. The possum. As ugly a creature as you have seen, eyes glazed over, sprawled out in the bushes. I couldn't decide whether I should take him to the vet, shoot him or bring him a sweet potato to eat.

I guessed he was playing possum since he was still but breathing. Good job of it, too. I tried to chase him off, so Parker would finally Shut Up but he wasn't budging though I could see his teeth, which made me keep my distance. Me and my hollow little possum-shooing stick that didn't shoo the possum at all. It is very unlikely that Parker ever sunk a tooth into him, as that would have meant Parker would have had to get near him. Parker isn't a risk taker.

Parker has different barks for different visitors, neighbors and the farrier. He can hear the farrier arrive at the neighbor's barn, and gives his special farrier bark. When the farrier is leaving the neighbor's to come to our house, Parker barks that special farrier bark again and I know to quit work and go downstairs to catch the horses.

I should have known it was his possum bark. But it was Halloween. Maybe there was a goblin come looking for my MIL.

We did get robbed once when we weren't home. We're convinced Parker's constant barking (he wouldn't dare bite scary people) made the thieves leave quickly.

We weren't so lucky with the possum. If I'd had my wits about me, I would have brought the dog inside and let the possum do whatever the possum came to do. I didn't have my wits. It was 2:00 a.m.

In spite of everyone clamoring to be fed (horses and cat), I came inside, stuck in some ear plugs and went back to sleep. I hope he didn't bother the neighbors -- we have a reasonable distance between houses.

The possum was nowhere to be seen this morning. Parker was so proud.

Good dog?

Comments

[Shelly]

Speaking of stealing dog food....this summer I had borrowed my dad's truck and camper and left my brand new SUV at the farm for about 6 days. It was parked in the driveway right in front of their house. And my dad is a practical jokester so he was trying to make me believe that he had taken my SUV out 4X4ing, so he had taken a lot of time to stick all these branches and grass in my grill. So as I am cleaning all of this out, I open up the hood and much to my dismay there is dog food in every knook and cranny under my hood. Now I'm mad, I'm giving my dad the whole "Sheesh dad like are you that immature that you would put dog food everywhere? Somedays you just need to grow up" And he is denying it (like he usually does with all his pranks) "wasn't me it was the squirel" as he has this big devilish grin on his face. I don't belive a word he's saying and am just sarcastically agreeing with him "oh yeah the squirrel hey?" A few minutes later my mom comes out to see what we are doing and she walks into the middle of me giving dad heck and thats when she tells me "really Shelly, the squirrel has been stealing the dog food, I noticed that the dogs were going through way more but I didn't know where they were hiding it" And I just sheepishly flashed my dad my oopsy smile! And of coures as Murphy's Law would have it, my truck was going into the shop the next day for service so I mentioned to the mechanics, that if they find any dog food, just clean it out and don't worry about it!

[Rachel Anne]

We have our "regulars," who come to dine on the dog food and donkey food almost every night. The possums are ugly beyond belief,and the raccoons are cute, but pesky. They have managed to open the garbage cans that have been duct-taped and tied shut, tip them over and then gorge themselves on the contents. So pleasant to wake up to the mess they make.

I think our dog has given up barking at them. Some watchdog. His attitude is, "oh, it's you again. Help yourself."