Seven ways to commit blog suicide

I'm always happy to find a way to procrastinate instead of writing my novel, painting a room, working out or just about anything that would result in making money, losing weight or cleaning up the house. So, when Rebecca Laffar-Smith tagged me for "Seven ways to commit blog suicide," I thought, hmmm. Finally. A worthy distraction.

Now, I haven't been blogging very long, as all you millions of Internets haven't noticed, yet for the 40,000 or so regular readers I've managed to scare up in the past six weeks, I'll take the bait. As for the other millions of Internets, I've probably already committed blog suicide and you'll never have the joy of meeting me.

For you 40,000 Internets who have fallen down the rabbit hole and landed here, welcome! Come back and join in these novel struggles. Even if you're not writing a novel, that's all right. We're not really writing one, either. We're planning to plan to write one. Or something like that.

So, here's my contribution to Seven ways to commit blog suicide:

1. Post a cartoon caricature of Mohammed. No, wait. That's how to commit regular suicide. It would actually drive up your blog traffic.
2. Don't post very often, as though you were in hiding somewhere. What little traffic you have will go elsewhere while you wait out the fatwa.
3. Post really boring, detailed stories about your cat. Even better, put up a video of your cat sleeping or contemplating a roach.
4. Brag about how wonderful your husband is and all the places he takes you and all the thoughtful things he does. Who can stand reading that? If it's true, you may be the object of another fatwa.
5. Give detailed instructions, including illustrations, of how to fold socks. For extra credit, include detailed instructions and illustrations on how to iron a pillow case.
6. Write all your posts in relentlessly bad rhyme. Force it!
7. Be a hypochondriac with a disease du jour. Go into details about your symptoms and how unsympathetic your doctor and medical staff are. Make people wish you really would get sick.
8. (Since #1 would actually build traffic) Talk about how hard it is to find clothes that fit when you have a perfect body, and that you're tired of people asking if you've had surgical "help."
   

Now, I gather I'm supposed to tag some other folks.

Kathy C.
Anwyn

Your turn!

Comments

[Rebecca Laffar-Smith]

*chuckles* HEY! People make good hits on YouTube with cockroach stalking cats. ;-) *grins* Great points! I agree heartily.

[Terry Heath]

And of course, don't forget all those fascinating cats on I CAN HAS CHEEZEBURGER. Who'd have thought a blog like that would have caught on fire?

[Anne]

OH, I knew I shouldn't have mentioned cats! I have three -- maybe I was just trying to make a rule for myself.

And I just found ICANHASCHEEZEBURGER this week! I must be the last person on the Internet. (But those aren't people talking about how cute their cat is.....)

Thanks for the comments!

[Anwyn]

Okay, my meme's up!

http://www.anwyn.com/2007/09/29/seven-ways-not-to-commit-blog-suicide/